I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
