It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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