i used baking grease as lip gloss
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
