You smell like a Billy Joel song
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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