he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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