wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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