My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
