Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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