I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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