Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
