last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
