It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
