I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
