Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
