So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
