bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
