Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How naked do you want me to be?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
