I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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