I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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