Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
