capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
