At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
