Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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