woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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