I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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