i wish my penis had a tongue
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
