saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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