You can't motorboat a personality
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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