In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
