And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
