Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
