i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
