my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
