Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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