when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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