YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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