The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
