You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He has the fingertips of a God
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