is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
