I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
