so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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