Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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