That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
