Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
