God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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