just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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