tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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