Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
