Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
do nipples grow back?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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