i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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