You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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