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wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
